Commentary — 16 August 2011

Let’s go Michele Bachmann! Push ‘em out, shove ‘em out…WAYYYYY OUT!

Yes, you read that correctly. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s Iowa Straw Poll victory wasn’t only great news for the Bachmann campaign, it was also tremendous news for the Sarah Palin “campaign.” Which a priori is wonderful news for President Obama’s re-election bid.

A vote for Bachmann, is a step closer to a Palin candidacy/nomination. Nothing in this world would make me happier than Sarah Palin declaring her candidacy for president of these United States. And the southern evangelicals think God doesn’t have a sense of humor! Bite your tongue and hush yo’ mouth!

Maybe it’s wishful thinking but all the signs are there. Palin was on a reconnaissance mission in Iowa last weekend, looking to gain insight as to the viability of the Palin name in middle-America.

Bachmann may be the Tea Party Caucus chair in Washington, but Palin is for many the titular head of the movement nationwide. It begs the question, does Bachmann derive her presidential support due to the absence of Sarah Palin or in preference over her?

I say the former and not the latter.

Bachmann

The recent debate performance by Bachmann suggests that her voting base is enamored with the idea of her “principled leadership.”

Hold your jokes, I’m getting there.

Mo’Kelly said THE IDEA of her “principled leadership.” not the contradicting reality. Tim Pawlenty tried unsuccessfully to clue in the Republicans that Bachmann is running on rhetoric, not her actual record (which boasts zero political victories of note.)

But Republicans are consistent, they aren’t interested in facts and that bodes VERY well for a Palin candidacy. Please God, have mercy upon the Democrats and allow this to happen.

Bachmann wants to have it both ways. She wishes to campaign on the ideological platform of “sending a message” to Washington, but also wants you to forget that her office is also located in Washington. Yes, Republicans were never ones to let simple minutia like that get in the way. Remember, this is the party which brought you both The Birthers and the Iraq War. Facts are not their strong suit.

O.J. Simpson will find “the real killers” right around the time George W. Bush finds the Iraq WMDs.

But I digress. Maybe it’s just Mo’Kelly, but Bachmann seems every bit the diet version of Sarah Palin.

All of the intolerance, with just half the fallacies.”

For as extreme as the Congresswoman may seem at times, she’s not Sarah Palin. Palin is in a padded room of a hospital wing all by herself. She worked very hard to earn that distinction, let’s not take it away from her now.

You can’t spell “simpleton” without an “S” and a “P.”

And Sarah Palin probably couldn’t spell it…well, at all…even with a dictionary.

But I again digress.

As long as Palin remains on the periphery as a pundit and not a presidential candidate, Bachmann is arguably the best Tea Party option amongst this field of uncharismatic, post-Reagan conservatives. That simply can not happen. Heaven is oh so close.

Palin is who the Tea Party wants. Hell, Palin is who I want. Palin is who the Tea Party deserves. And I absolutely mean that in the most loving yet condescending way.

Give the people what they want!

I want Sarah Palin on national television debating Michele Bachmann, vying for the title of Republican nominee most anti-Islamic, anti-Gay, anti-African-American, anti-working class, xenophobic human in all America. Somebody is taking home that trophy, let’s just make sure the best are on the field when it is handed out. That’s why the Republican presidential nomination should be set up like the BCS. #1 plays #2. Like college football, if we can’t get a playoff, this is the next best thing. And you can even hold it in the Cotton Bowl…for obvious and symbolic 20th century Republican reasons. Do the math.

Congresswoman Bachmann garnering the nomination taking home the title of “Most Hateful Republican” without Sarah Palin opposing her is like the Houston Rockets winning the NBA Championship while Michael Jordan is on a baseball diamond…as in worthy of an asterisk. Democrats need to show some spine and get in line with this idea. A campaign donation for Bachmann is a vote of confidence for Sarah Palin. Let nature take its course after that.

The Tea Party deserves better and so does Reality TV. We could feature it on NatGeo, sandwiched in-between all those prison shows. Sambo’s…er uh, Denny’s restaurants could be the title sponsor. You’ve got to see the bigger picture Democrats.

Football would have the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl…Republicans would have the Republican National Convention Denny’s Hate Bowl.

Palin says she will make a final decision by the end of September. Dear God, please let this happen. In fact, I don’t know if this falls under God’s or Santa Claus’ purview. But just to be sure, I’ll be both praying and emailing the North Pole under separate cover.

Glory Hallelujah and Deck the Halls!

For the next 30 days, I’m all about Team Bachmann. See the big picture Democrats…see the big picture.

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published at The Huffington Post and EURWEB.com. For the most recent posts of Mr. Mo’Kelly, visit http://mrmokelly.com.  Mr. Mo’Kelly can be reached at mrmokelly@gmail.com.

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Mr. Mo'Kelly

The Mo'Kelly Report is a syndicated politics and entertainment journal. Visit http://mrmokelly.com for the latest from Mr. Mo'Kelly. Tune into The Mo'Kelly Show every weekend. Saturdays and Sundays 6-8pm PST on KFI AM640. Contact Mo'Kelly: Mo ~ at ~ TheMoKellyShow ~ dot ~ com

(5) Readers Comments

  1. Be careful what you wish for… with the way folks are acting these days one of those nuts might actually win.

    • If this country actually elects Sarah Palin…that’s on them. Sometimes you have to let the baby cry.

      • MO’, I can’t believe I found this article today of all days! I was sharing the same sentiments with my niece just this morning encouraging her to join the Obama campaign again when she returns to college. I was telling her what I thought would be a great strategy for his re-election and stating that if Sarah Palin was the nominee, he would most definitely win. People are crazy these days, but they’re not that crazy! I would love to hear your comments about Tavis Smiley and Dr. Cornell West’s crusade regarding our President. Please share your insightful wisdom on that topic as well.

        Thanks

        • Hello Taka. There are a number of reasons why I haven’t specifically weighed in on the Smiley/West bus tour or the related stories of Steve Harvey and Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post.

          First. the tour isn’t a “news” story…it is a self-aggrandizement story. There’s nothing that was going to be said or was said on that tour that couldn’t have been said from the comfort of their homes. A bus tour is NEVER about the destinations it reaches but ALWAYS about who is riding the bus…like a concert tour.

          I’LL comment here but I refuse to write a post which will be circulated and indexed on search engines and in effect “promote” it. The bus tour was by design to create tension, friction and thus generate publicity as well as put cash in the pockets of the “tour band.”

          Do notice…two millionaires got paid six figures to go talk about poverty on tour. No voter registration drive. No jobs bill petition to later present to a congressional leader. Nothing.

          Legislation starts at the House congressional level…not presidential. They know that and everybody with 3 credits of civics know it too.

          The concert tour and its bus are not worthy of an editorial. Also…the other media sources in opposition to it said enough. As you probably already know…I like my stuff to stand out, not just be another nameless columnist who is espousing the same view regarding the obvious.

  2. MO’, I can’t believe I found this article today of all days! I was sharing the same sentiments with my niece just this morning encouraging her to join the Obama campaign again when she returns to college. I was telling her what I thought would be a great strategy for his re-election and stating that if Sarah Palin was the nominee, he would most definitely win. People are crazy these days, but they’re not that crazy! I would love to hear your comments about Tavis Smiley and Dr. Cornell West’s crusade regarding our President. Please share your insightful wisdom on that topic as well.

    Thanks

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