You set ‘em up, Mo’Kelly knocks them down.  Brandy…in the news?!  Brandy

opens the door for Mo’Kelly to go, well…”Mo’Kelly” on her?!  Who said Christmas only comes once a year?!

Merry Christmas Mo’Kelly!

A present?!  For me?!

You shouldn’t have…(but glad you did.)

R&B star Brandy Norwood opens up to Life & Style about her shocking admittance on the Oct. 11 episode of Dancing with the Stars that she hadn’t been intimate with someone in 6 years.

In an exclusive interview, Brandy clarified her remark. “I haven’t been with a man seriously and in love in six years,” says Brandy, 31. “And, honestly, I tend to abstain if I’m not in a relationship.” So has she been celibate for six years? “Um, no. But it’s been a long time. We’re talking years,” Brandy admits.

The opportunity has certainly been there. “I actually went on a blind date a couple months ago that was very interesting but nothing serious,” she says. She even confirms her interest in rapper Flo Rida. “I was very interested in him,” Brandy says. “I mean, how can you not be — he’s very attractive. But there was just something about us that didn’t click.”

Until Brandy meets the right guy, DWTS is helping her feel confident again. “I always relate sexy to being in love,” she says. “But I’m starting to realize that if I put on a little leotard like when I danced the rumba, I could feel sexy a lot more!”

Where in the hell should Mo’Kelly start?!

The initial response by many of her fans and the rest of us in the general public was that this was categorically untrue.  Remember, this was coming from the same woman who lied about being married for the sake of chronicling the birth of her daughter on MTV.

It’s a reasonable connection to make.  If she’s willing to lie about her marital status to trick the public into believing something she isn’t, for the sake of positive perception once, why wouldn’t she do it again?  Hell, she won’t even tell the truth about what portion of the galaxy in which she was born.

As always in The Mo’Kelly Report, we strive go deeper than mere surface analysis; provide an insight not readily discussed or examined.

Mo’Kelly is going on record…he believes Brandy.  Brandy is telling the truth.  She’s not telling all the truth, but she’s “technically” telling the truth.  If Brandy says she’s not had sex in years, take her at her word.

If you are a music and television “star” (note the quotation marks) and you’re STILL going on “blind” dates, you’re probably not getting any.  If you have to SURPRISE someone with Brandy to get her a date, it’s time for Brandy to look in the mirror.  If/when she does, this is what she should see…depending on the time of day. (<————-)

“Ricky…I got someone I want you to meet!”

“Who is it…is she cute?”

“She’s a famous singer, has had her own TV show.”

“Who is it…is she cute?”

“Her brother has his own reality TV, and a sex tape too with another reality tart.”

“Who is it…is she cute?”

“And she’s dying to meet you Rick!  Her face is “out of this world.’”

“Who is it…is she cute?”

“She’s not from around here…her family lives far, far, away.”

“Who is it…is she cute?”

“Far…far…far…far…far…far…away.”

“OK, I’ll meet her.”

“Great…meet her at the $1 movie theater on Hawthorne Blvd., 11:30 show of Alien Vs. Predator.”

“OK, what will she be wearing?”

“Oh, um…uh…she’ll be the one outside the theater signing autographs…you can’t miss her.”

“Got it…thanks!  You’re the best.”

Mo’Kelly takes Brandy at her word; she’s not been in a relationship in years.  Few extra-terrestrials can claim “hittin’ it” while sojourning here.  E.T. didn’t get any booty while he was here.  Alf didn’t get any nookie while he was here.  And to the best of Mo’Kelly’s knowledge, the alien who

played John Lithgow in 3^rd Rock from the Sun didn’t get any Earth tail either while visiting.

By and large, aliens don’t get a lot of Earth a$$ and history has shown this to be true.  The only exception might be “Anna,” the High Commander of the “Visitors”…she could get it.  She could get it twice on Tuesday and six times on Saturday.

That’s one gorgeous alien.

But we’re not talking about Anna, we’re talking about BRANDY, from an unnamed planet in some distant galaxy, light-years away.  If Brandy says she can’t find a man, (read: human male) then damnit…take the extra-terrestrial, alien life form at its word.

All guys have a checklist…you know, our “sexual bucket list” if you will.  Not trying to be crass, just truthful.  For most guys, it goes a little something like this; and no Mo’Kelly isn’t offering any personal information here.  Y’all will NEVER hear Mo’Kelly’s “checklist.”  Here’s a “hypothetical” one.

Asian woman…check!

Black woman…check!

White woman…check!

Middle-eastern woman…check!

Plus-sized woman…check!

(You get the point)

Nowhere on ANY human man’s list is…

“Female monster from another planet.”

It’s not on Mo’Kelly’s list, it wasn’t on her faux-husband/baby-daddy’s list (hence the break up) and it wasn’t on NBA star Quentin Richardson’s list.  Brandy’s advanced biomechanical suit makes her look “almost” human, but Mo’Kelly can see beyond the façade of her leathery, scaly, exoskeleton.

You can’t fool Mr. Mo’Kelly.

Brandy says she hasn’t had sex in years, resorted to blind dates and didn’t have chemistry with a human rapper.

Sounds reasonable to Mo’Kelly.  Take the extra-terrestrial at her word.

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published at The Huffington Post and www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. For more Mo’Kelly, https://mrmokelly.com. Mr. Mo’Kelly can be reached at [email protected].

www.twitter.com/mrmokelly